This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
