I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
