i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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