How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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