There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
