The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
