I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
