Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize