You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
