i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
