is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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