I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
