oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
