Plan B is the new Plan A
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
