I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My vagina is officially offended.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
