do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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