Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were destined to go to rehab together
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
