Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
