You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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