I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
