just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
