I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
