i would punch a child for taco bell
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
