RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
