shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
