Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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