that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
