Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
