she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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