I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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