I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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