CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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