Don't you send me to vm
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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