OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
