I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
