why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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