Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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