i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
