he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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