He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
