I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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