She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
