this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
