I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
