i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
