at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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