found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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