Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
