He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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