Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
