My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
