Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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