dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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