I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize