So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
