Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
