What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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