so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
