Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
