Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
