If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
