Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize