i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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