I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
