WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Come see our sink grown plant.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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