Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
