it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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