Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
