you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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