PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm like, not good at living.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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