I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i've created a new STD.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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