YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
