didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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