her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
