You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
