I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
