I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
