this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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