I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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