Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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