Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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