what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
