i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
