Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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