Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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