My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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