I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
